Maturity? I think YES

Samuel turned 14 a week ago. 14!! I can’t believe that my Sammy is just 4 years from what THEY considered adulthiod:). It has really been a journey. A journey that has taught me so much; I have gained much more from Samuel than I can ever give to him. He has made me who I am today….eternally grateful.

Samuel’s birthday was simple…a simple pizza, drinks, snacks and cake. We ordered vanilla cake but they mistaken made chocolate. As soon as I saw it, I knew a meltdown was underwat but yet NOTHING…Samuel asked if I could return it and I simply said I was tired and can do it Saturday morning….and he said “Okay”. Okay was the last word or reaction from my mind. The old Samuel would have broken down into a total meltdown with eyes and nose running. You would have thought he had received the worst news in the world.

The next morning, I heard his footsteps and did my usual “Samuel, you have to brush your teeth” anticipating the usual argument around why brushing on weekend is required but I got NOTHING. He just opened my door and said “Thank you for yesterday, I had fun”…I was shocked and taken aback by his reaction.

If this is what 14 has to offer me, I am ready and excited for what the year has in store for Samuel. I am always proud and excited for this boy. His pure heartedness is what I aspire to have.

Thank you to everyone that has been supporting and praying with us. We are greatful❤

Happy birthday once again Sam. 14 is looking amazingly well with you.

To Medicate or NOT…that IS the question

Over the years, I have been asked about medicating Samuel and i have thought about what medicating him early could have done for me…both positively and negatively…i guess, i will never know. 

I am not against or for medication, I’ve always been an advocate for whatever is best or whatever I think is best for Samuel.  I personally don’t take alot of medication, not because of believe but mostly because I cannot be so dedicated to take a pill everyday because of my selective memory🤣  I also grew up on needle and prefer needle over pills any day.  But, I digress…..

When  he was 3, he was prescribed medication to help with his hyperactivity but I felt like he was too young and i felt like I could manage his behaviour.  Looking back, maybe that was a great decision but one mistake I made was not even exploring melatonin  for his sometimes 72 hours of sleeplessness; my personal fear of any medication and lack of knowledge got the best of me.  We learn and grow on a daily.

We had another encounter at about 8 because his focus became an issue that was seriously affecting him academically. I tried for a month and stopped.  I stopped because of many reasons, One, because I didnt feel like the pediatrician  had his best interest at heart. Two, I got introduced to new diet options that worked for some.

The diet worked for many years….we did it for a little over 2 years with no cheating.  Then Samuel started sneaking food and expressed interest in exploring other meals so we stopped.  My goal is to ensure that he never feels like he is being singled out  and I want him to always have a voice when it comes to his life.  Samuel is extremely  smart and vocal….I wanted to keep that Samuel spirit alive.

When Samuels started last year of elementary, I decided to explore other means of helping him with his focus and hyperactivity. I knew highschool was going to be a different element for him and among many things, he will have to learn time management with his work as well as being focused enough to absorb what he is being taught. In the midst of figuring thing out more diagnosis came and then came Covid 19

The presence of Covid has impacted Samuel negatively.  The first 6 or so months we went through different types and stages of emotion.  His ability to focus for an extended period of time diminished, his steming tripped, he was unable to stand or sit still.  He stared making hole in the wall, either by bumping into the wall with objects or with his strong body.  It became a challenge to keep hin calm and steated for even 5 minutes.  This is when it became super obvious to me that I needed to explore other options.

Samuel started seeing a new pediatrician that specializes in ADHD. At our initial meeting, he suggested other Avenue to help keep him calm and manage his energy. We used the summer time to explore alot of energy draining or reduction exercise with the hope that it’ll help calm his nerve.

As of the first week of Septemebr, we introduced Samuel to medication and so far so good. The medication works for about 4 hours and the goal is to help him calm down enough to listen in school and be able to absorb what he is being taught.

School has been going great. Samuel has been doing amazingly well. His grades are way up…mostly A🙌🏾 Medication management has been great. Stemming continue to increase but trying our best to manage and exploring other options again

We continue to move ❤❤

I am super emotional today…..doing all I can to keep it In…rant begings

Since the lockdown, Samuel has been stemming significantly more. The stress over the what he presume to be a negative impact from the US election combined with COVID 19 is not helping either. Over the last 10 months or so, our home has felt the aftermath of all this stress on Samuel

We now have 2 dinnig chairs because he has managed to break the rest, in the basement, we had 4 holes on the wall from him bumping his chair against the wall as he is not able to sit still for an extended period. I’ve since gotten him gaming chair and fixed the holes.

The huge hole on downstairs staircase is from him stumbling into the wall, hole in the living room is from him falling down to sit and continuously bumping into the same spot. This holes I haven’t had the time to fix but it’s on my ‘To do’ list this coming week as I will be on Vacation.

Now to today, as I was about to take his picture sitting down, I looked and there was a huge dent on my dinning wall. I was shocked, I got angry, I raised my voice, I queried him….I am tired of the dents and hole….I am tired of him stemming….I am tired of my beautiful home getting damaged…..my head started pounding…..I became super angry…. I became tired

I asked him why he didnt tell me, he said “Because of this” pointing directly at me. “I know you will be like this, upset”. It’s difficult not to be upset but I need to evaluate myself and figure out a better way to express my frustration. Seeing the new dent just got me so tired. It’s like all the effort is not producing alot of result. I feel like I dont know how much more I can do to manage this

On a positive note, I now know how to fix holes on the wall. I just need to know learn how to cut and replace drywall.