Samuel turning 16 came with alot of celebration and mouring. Over the years, i’ve come to accept that grieving for what we CAN’T is continuous. I hate that i cant just do a one time moruning and move on but as you see kids of same age do age appropriate things, make age appropriate moves etc, it becomes a constant reminder of what may never happen with us.
Samuel is now 16…..almost 17. The seasons of driving, the season of thinking about career path, the season of dates etc. It’s also the time of independence for most kids. Going out with friends, to the corner store, movies solo, branching somewhere after school, skipping lunch box and going to the store closer to school to grab a meal
Samuel and I have struggled with his desire to have same level of indepence as kids his age and my desire to protect him. I am growing and learning but it is difficult to find a safe balance. I have allowed him to work solo to the store without sneaking behind him. My aneiety while i wait for his return is beyond this world but he has been successful. He pays and now know to stay for his change.
So last thursday, i had to step out and Samuel let me know that he “found $20” and he wanted to go to the store. I refused because i was stepping out and i want to be able to know when he turns home. So can you imagine my surprise when i got home and noticed things were out of place. I turned to Samuel and asked him about leaving the house while i was away and he admitted it. His first worlds to me was that he is 16 and i am “too much”. He mentioned that 16 years olds can go to places and he couldn’t understand why i don’t let him do stuffs. I did let him know that i am too much with EVERYONE includinf my husband 🙂 .
His next statement was that i am always tracking him. He was shocked at how i knew he stepped out of the house. So since i have PhD in sneaking out of the house at that age, i had to school the boy. So i listed what he did wrong and what was different from when i left. 1. His shoe was not in the coat room because he always has to be reminded to put it away. 2.The door was not locked and i locked it before i left. 3. His personal key was still in the key hole. There were many onvious things but I shall keep that for next time 🙂
He laughed at the realization that his sneaking out was not very sneaky. He apologized and i agreed to relax a little. The other day, he asked to go for a run around the area and I agrees but that 20 minutes felt like 3 hours. I
Do you remember that $20 he found? Well, he was found in Aaron’s wallet. Aaron gave it to him and he told Aaron before leaving but Aaron did not call me. So Aaron is an accomplice before, during and after the fact 🙂
This journey is never endind but Samuel and I continue to learn and develop together. We are so far from where our Journey began and we have surpasses all expectations. I am sure eventually he will be going in and out independently but for now, we will maintain baby steps.
You have done exceptionally well with all that both you and Samuel have accomplished. Independence is hard for a Mom without special needs challenges. Good for you Mom!