When i was told that Sam is on the autism spectrum, i was consumed by deep grieve. Everything that i thought were impossible flashed across my mind. I saw no positive and i saw alot of unfulfilled goals.
My grief was centered around MY hopes and dream. Do i still fall into grief, yes, more than anyone knows but i am quick to snap myself out of it. Nothing hurts me now than the fact that Samuel is wasting his 6″9 frame, i am convinced that he wouLd have been the next Micheal if not for autism LOL
I have gotten to the stage where i don’t see Sam’s autism as an horror anymore, i now see it as a different and unique way of life. I see the humour it brings through Sam, i see the dedication that shines through it via Sam, i see the amazing brain power in it.
Samuel is truly the human that i aim to be. He is routine oriented and if he says he will do something, he will do it right and on time. I, on the other hand can procrastinate till rapture. I love how he can understand maths so easily and many years in, i am still finding X :). I love how he can meet someone and remember that the last time he saw them was June, 2006 :). Samuel has an amazing long term memory.
Samuel had his 17th birthday recently and unfortunately, he was sick on his birthday. However because it was his day to clean the house, i was shocked when i found him downstairs cleaning. Of course, i stopped him but i can only admire his spirit of being dedicated to fulfilling promises. He is the most reliable human i have ever met
Samuel and I have grown so much.
Beautifully said!