What a year

As we are about to celebrate  Christmas,  I have been thinking of the things I am mostly grateful for.  Beside the usual protection over covid outbreak, I am super grateful because this time last year, I was in total internal breakdown.  I had so much struggle concerning  how to manage Samuel needs, I had personal struggles  about my failure concern him…..am I really doing enough?.  I had struggles  about his siblings and wonder if I am doing enough with them.

Sometimes the voices in my head can be louder than the battle in front of me.  I internalize everything so much and so deep that it makes it super difficult  to have a second of clarity.  I am a chronic analyzer….I over analyze just about everything.

Writing has always been my outlet because as a young child, I had limited voice.  I am also great at having a strong facade so opening up to people is very difficult for me but when I write, it’s almost like a renew of my body and soul.  I am super grateful for this platform; it provided me what I needed for 2020……its like God knew that 2020 was going to be THE year….

The year when not only Covid came, Tope was practically  locked away from us for almost all year, a year when I will have no break, a year when Samuel would receive many diagnosis, a year when Samuel will need help to manage his energy, a year of many holes on my wall, a year  of many fight and fall, a year of success ….Samuel has had an amazing year.

The biggest success is in how Samuel has matured.  On a physical level, he has gone from about 5″11 to about 6″4/6″5 but that is not as significant as his emotional maturity.  The morning after his birthday, he knocked on my door and thanked me for a great birthday the day before….this has NEVER happened before.  He was not only able to go to a new school but has done amazingly well this school year…I got a call from his math teacher on Wednesday and she told me about how amazing he is and how is is such a great kid, but also mentioned that he has been able to work well on his school work and will be getting 92% for this half of the course. This year has been amazing

As we start the last leg of 2020, my hope is that we all dig deep and find things that we can be grateful about. 2020 has taken too much from us…to some its a life, some relationships, some work, some social interaction and I sympathize with everyone and pray for a brighter time ahead, I still do hope that at the very least, we celebrate and be thankful for LIFE

I am thankful for you all….Special shout out to my Tope, my big sis Yetty and a co worker turned friend…Sophia…..you have all been my go to people when the sky get a little cloudy❤

Have a super Christmas all. 💖