Samuel and I: Our Autism Journey

I am super sentsitive about Samuel and how or who can discipline him.  When people don’t know your journey,  they can never appreciate your current state.  Most people including my family (husband  included) do not understand how we got to where we are and why i do let some things slide with Samuel.

For years, i tried to get Samue to use public washroom or any washroom outside of our powder room washroom and it was a battle. A battle that caused alot of embarrasssement and side eye from  many people.  At some point, we never left the house without 3 change of clothes because Samuel will rather pee on himself than to use any other washroom.  Now that Samuel is 13th, we still have this same issue but on a lighter scale.  Samuel still showers in my washroom and uses our powder room for  #2.  Samuel does not use washroom at the school and this is a bigger issue that may lead to health problem but we are slowly but surely working towards it.

I once asked Samuel why he uses my washroom instead of his and his response was that “It smells”. Not that it smells because it’s dirty but i later realized that the smell of the paint (which never stood out to me until he called it out) was either too strong for him or he just doesn’t like it.  Samuel has had issues from smell of washroom to the color of the washroom.  Over the years, we have learnt to work together to make things work.

Our past struggle is why i get super irritated and sensitive about Samuel’s washroom routine.  Samuel does NOT stand to pee and for some reason, this is an issue that requires some level of time out to some people.  This to me is a NONE ISSUE – He is accomplishing the objective which is to pee  in the toilet.  When people don’t know your struggle or don’t want to understand where is coming from, they start unsolictated advice  or feedback.  I am super okay with Samuel sitting to pee…it is a NONE ISSUE.  Do not try to purnish or talk negatively about my son and his pee abite.  We are currently in a hotel and Samuel is using the washroom at the hotel —-  NoW THIS IS WHAT I CALL A SUCCESS STORY.

I can’t wait for Samuel to be able to tell me why he prefers sitting than standing up to pee.  For now all i get is “I don’t know” but i am sure in few years, he will be able to give me a better explanation but till then, Stay off my son’s tail as this is a  NONE issue

As a parent of a child on the spectrum, i often find myself alone on an highland. I find that people either do not take time to understand our journey or they try to find a neurotypical solution to an issue with limited consideration to the uniqueness that autism brings or they just burden me with their own issue and have no regards for how much i may have on my plate. I find myself alone on this journey and i’ve thought about how to purge myself in order to ensure that i’m mentally available to my family as well myself.

Over the last 13 years, i’ve dealt with many feelings about autism. I’ve mourn, i’ve cursed, i’ve cried, i’ve laughed, i’ve accepted, i’ve educate, i’ve been educated, i’ve experimented , i’ve prayed, i’ve sowed seeds and the list goes on. I keep repeating this stages depending on the situation at hand however, i’m more at the “Whatever is best for Samuel” stage at this time. I am only angry when he is facing a challenge or when people take his need for granted.

One of the most challenging struggles we are facing is about navigating a new school board and ensuring that he has all he needs now and in September when high school starts. I assume that most of my writting will likely be around this topic.

I’m super excited about blogging and i hope that it helps me to distress which will enable me to direct my energy to other important things. I also hope that you all get an insight into our life and maybe…..just maybe you too will join me in celebrating the “small” victories as you have more appreciation for where we are coming from

Thanks all as you JOURNEY with us and happy reading.