The journey between February and now has been filled with victory, success, downfall – and yet, we rise. What I love about this boy of mine is the privilege he has given me to feel: to give myself grace to feel every success and heartbreak.
Heartbreak goes far beyond pain. It’s that moment when breath feels too heavy to take, when your heart aches without any visible wound. It’s when the battles in your head don’t allow you to process what’s happening.
These past few months have been filled with many storms, but resiliency is my middle name. I have spent a lot of this time crying quietly, worrying about countless scenarios, and at the same time smiling through it all – impacting others positively while my wounds stayed fresh and deep.
Samuel’s journey towards college forced us to amend our original plan. The disappointment was heavy for me, but even more so for Samuel. Last night, as I listened to Simi’s song and really processed the words, I felt clarity. This is what I love about God: when I am at my lowest, He always brings me a song that speaks directly to my soul. I love music. I am someone who can cry while dancing to a song. Writing has always been my safe space, but when I can’t put my thoughts into words, music and dance (watch me dance at your own risk 😊) become how I process my pain
In 4 days, we officially start college. It’s not the program we were first accepted into. It’s not the program we thought we wanted. But it’s the program that we needed. God has orchestrated our steps with such intentionality. I am super proud of Samuel. He has brought me immense joy since he graced my life over 18 years ago.
He is the first human to show me unconditional, unwavering love. He is my first love, my first seed, my first life coach, my first source of laughter. When I was in a dark place in 2012, he was my anchor to this side of the universe. To know Sam is to know a human filled with the purest of hearts and souls. To know Sam is to know purity in human form. To know Sam is to catch a glimpse of Christ in human form.
Please pray for us. Pray for his success. Being accepted into 4 out of his 5 programs was already a huge success. Samuel is anxious; he is stimming more, nervous about a new season and a new environment. Whatever happens, I can never be disappointed in him.
The same child people told me not to start an education fund for, over a decade ago, is now using his RESP (registered education savings plan) to step into his future. He desires to complete his desired program after his current one, and he has expressed interest in going further. Each step, I will be there by his side.
You cannot understand the weight of this unless you have walked a day in my shoes.
Not biologically related yet choosing to stand and support every decision – especially the financial ones – is another level of being a MAN. Tope is a man of his word, and the promises he made regarding the boys over a decade ago, he has kept faithfully. That alone deserves a whole other write-up. 😊
More to come… a new season is loading
Shalom!
God’s got you and you’ve both got this!
We trust you to make us proud Sam.
Well done mama, you’re doing absolutely fine. ❤️
This is exciting! Some trepidation maybe but Samuel and you have overcome so much and have proven God to be faithful. Blessings on the next leg of the journey. Much love
“The same child people told me not to start an education fund for, over a decade ago, is now using his RESP (registered education savings plan) to step into his future. He desires to complete his desired program after his current one, and he has expressed interest in going further. Each step, I will be there by his side.”
……Sis..,..All glory to God Almighty !…. that ‘s all I can say 🙏